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  胡适对上海的印象,最多是好坏参半。如果从感情上说,恐怕是坏的部分要多些。胡适后来回忆在上海读书的经历时给上海下了一个定义,即“眼界很小的商埠”

。这个印象,很可能是一开始就形成的。眼界小则胸襟自然不宽,在洋人势力最大,因而影响也就最大的上海,对于外来乡下佬的蔑视,恐怕又过一般的地方排外意识。上海既不能张开双臂欢迎绩溪来的小乡下佬,而上海学堂的教育水准后来又证明实不见得比绩溪上庄的私塾高多少(详后),则其不十分热情欢迎小胡适就只能表明其“眼界很小”

了。同时,胡家虽已实际上成了一个以商业为生的“绅商”

之家,但以胡父的遗教和胡母的有意培养,都不仅要与一般乡人有别,而且也并不认同于“绅商”

这个身份。其对商的接受,与社会转型时期的许多读书人一样,大约也只是维持在“半肯半不肯”

的境地。如是,则“眼界很小”

与“商埠”

连在一起,更别有一层含意。

  胡适初到上海,进的是父亲的老朋友张焕纶所办的梅溪学堂。据他自己的叙述,入学之日,穿着极为土气,“完全是个乡下人。许多同学围拢来看我这乡下人”

。[43]从上庄的“先生”

到上海的“乡下人”

,仍然是与众不同,仍然是众目之的,却已从鸡群之鹤变为丑小鸭,由云中跌到池塘;而那睽睽之众目,也由上庄常见的仰慕变为轻蔑,真是今非昔比啦!这种境遇,对于“见人则面红耳赤”

的小胡适,想必是难堪之极。此时若有一个热心的同学来略示关怀,胡适对上海的第一印象必会好得多。可惜没有。几年后胡适的信心已大增时,曾在《竞业旬报》第二十五期上写了一篇《杨斯盛传》,里面说杨“回想起初到上海的时候,年纪才得十三岁,那一种孤苦伶仃的境况,真个如同梦境了”

。这应是典型的夫子自道。

  更因胡适不会说上海话,也不曾“开”

作文,故被编入“差不多是最低的”

第五班,的确是到了最底层了。在此情形下,像其他许多初来上海的外地人一样,胡适心目中的上海形象自不可能好到哪里去。后来胡适酒醉后骂租界的巡捕为“外国奴才”

,也是其真意识之流露,最值得重视。这里面暗藏的民族主义情绪,后文还要详论。此处我所关怀的是,那身为“外国奴才”

的巡捕,多半也是胡适以及其他许多来上海的外地人心目中上海形象——特别是“商埠”

那个部分——的一个颇具象征性的成分。不过胡适的“我”

使他将此观感久藏未露,只是到了酒后出真言之时,才“偶尔露峥嵘”

罢了。

  然而天不绝胡适。在胡母教导下决不肯落人后的小胡适,一直在做准备。他父亲的朋友办的虽然是学堂,重的却是国文,而不像许多上海或其他地方的“教会学堂的偏重英文”

。重国文是小胡适得以绝处逢生的转折机缘。胡适后来每庆幸自己没有入教会学校,部分或者也就为此吧。梅溪学堂低级班的《蒙学读本》,对于“读了许多古书的”

胡适,“自然毫不费力”

。胡适一面下工夫“专读英文算学”

,一面当然还要学那不会的上海话。终于有一天,“我的机会来了”

。这是一个星期四,教国文的老师“料不到这班小孩子里面有人起来驳正他的错误”

,随口将书里《易系辞传》的引文说成是《左传》的。“见人则面红耳赤”

的小胡适虽然只是“勉强能说几句上海话”

,也走到先生那里低声“驳正他的错误”

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