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通过这次马尔代夫之旅，我含泪发现：还是中国好啊，跟着中国，有馍吃……回到家之后，我拖着江离、提了三个环保购物袋跑去超市，买了一大堆的食材让江离抗回来。什么？江离怎么会任我驱使？开玩笑，他还想不想吃饭了！然后我做了一大桌子丰盛的菜肴。然后吃饭。然后我就吃多了……囧。因为晚饭吃太多，我像个孕妇似的，连动一下都费劲。我躺在床上，摸着肚皮，一边满足着打着饱嗝，一边撑得直哼哼。江离十分鄙夷地看了看我，说道：&ldo;你这是纵欲过度。&rdo;江离的表达能力实在是让我惊悚，因此我也懒得理他，吃力地从床上爬起来，从抽屉里翻出健胃消食片来吃。我正吃着药，江离也从床上坐起来，拿过我的药瓶翻看着，心不在焉地问道：&ldo;看来你经常吃多？我还真是开了眼界了。&rdo;我懊恼道：&ldo;哪有，我的生活很健康。&rdo;江离看着那药瓶，突然眯起眼睛，笑道：&ldo;确实很健康……你这药起码有三年没吃过了吧？&rdo;我：&ldo;？&rdo;江离晃了晃手中的药瓶，十分温和地宣布了一个让我痛心疾首的消息：&ldo;这药过期了。&rdo;我大惊，夺过药来一看，善了个哉的，还真是。真是屋漏偏逢连夜雨，这可怎么办？难道要挺着肚皮去医院，告诉医生我是先吃多了饭然后又吃错了药？太丢人了！我犹豫了一下，问江离道：&ldo;你说，我用不用去医院啊？&rdo;江离思考了一下，答道：&ldo;应该不用吧？&rdo;我随即点头，表示赞同：&ldo;对对对，我也是这么想的！&rdo;然后江离接着说：&ldo;只要全都吐出来就好了。&rdo;不用去医院，只要全都吐出来就好‐‐这是什么鬼主意！我觉得江离这是在幸灾乐祸，于是不再理他，翻过身体躺在床上。还是睡觉吧，再多的东西，一个晚上的时间也够消化的了。江离却用枕头砸我的头，完全不想让我睡觉。他说：&ldo;我可不想明天一早背你去医院。&rdo;我吃力地翻了个身，不耐烦地说道：&ldo;用不着你！&rdo;江离却不依不饶：&ldo;上次你睡死过去，还不是我把你抱过去的？比猪还重！&rdo;江离的最后一句话彻底把我激怒了。你说谁谁谁谁比猪重？！我霍地一下从床上站起，将身上的被子扣到江离头上，然后朝他踢了两脚，还不等他反应过来，我就跳下床跑了出去，拖鞋都没顾上穿。我跑到洗手间，冲着马桶干呕了半天，可惜还是没有培养出呕吐的情绪。于是我学着小说里讲的样子，伸出食指在嘴里乱倒腾，也无济于事，倒把自己塑造成了一个咬手指流口水的智障……我正忙活着，冷不防有人从后面拍了一下我的肩膀，我一个惊吓，差点被口水呛住。我收回手指，擦了擦嘴角的口水，依然弯着腰，对江离说道：&ldo;你离远点，这个场面很暴力。&rdo;江离并没有离远点，而是在我身后揶揄道：&ldo;你还能再笨一点吗？&rdo;我正想反驳一下，告诉他这东西跟智商没关系，纯粹是经验问题。这时，江离却把一只手搭到了我的脖子上……他他他，他想干嘛？我还没说话，江离又说道：&ldo;把嘴张开。&rdo;我老老实实照做。江离抬起另外一只手，伸出两根手指探进了我的嘴吧里。我汗一个，咬自己的手指我已经够丢人的了，这会儿还要咬别人的手指，这让我情何以堪呀情何以堪……江离似乎也不太适应，他不耐烦地说道：&ldo;你别咬我，舌头也别乱动，紧张什么我又不会杀了你……&rdo;我乖乖地低着头任他蹂躏。一边配合他一边心想着，他是不是应该先洗个手呀……江离把手指伸进我的口腔深处，在我的舌根上轻轻一压，然后迅速抽回。我还没反应过来怎么回事，已经控制不住哇地一下吐了出来。江离一边轻轻拍着我的后背，一边嫌恶地自言自语道：&ldo;真恶心。&rdo;我在心里腹诽他：你才恶心，你比便便还恶心……虽然呕吐是一件痛苦的事情，不过肚子的确舒服多了，而且不用担心因为吃错了药而中毒了。我吐完之后，冲干净马桶，然后在洗手池边清洗自己。江离也在另一个洗手池边洗着手。

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