第1章 银魂（第1页）
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“哟！好久不见啊混蛋们，是不是太久没见到你们心爱的银桑已经激动得不要不要的了？已经全体起立了吧？那可不行啊，一定要给我憋住不能漏出来了，人啊，只有管得住自己上上下下两个脑子了才真的算是长大成人了。嘛，不过身为银魂粉的你们这辈子应该都只能是半夜躲被窝里看工口杂志的小鬼了。”
“那个，银桑，明明是久违的再会，就不要开这种下流的玩笑了，还是和大家认真地打声招呼吧。”
“闭嘴吧眼镜架子，银魂不开这种玩笑那还算是银魂吗？那些思春期的小屁孩都是冲着这一点来的，这么多年了还没明白这一点，所以你也只能是新八不是新一了阿鲁。”
“忒谁是眼镜架子！大家是想再次见到我们万事屋才来到这里的！才不是为了听荤段子！还有那都是多少年前的梗了怎么现在还在用啊喂！”
“叽叽喳喳的吵死了，现在是主人公在说话，你们两个给我把嘴闭上，大家来这儿只是想要再看一眼银桑这张帅气的脸而已，没错，就是为了这张脸……脸……诶——！！！”
“怎么了银桑？”
“是那里没忍住漏出来了吗银酱？”
“脸！脸！我那张英俊帅气又充满魅力的脸不见了啊！在哪儿在哪儿？！是不是掉在桌子底下了？！还是说早上起床的时候把脸给落下了？！不妙啊！这个样子的银桑没脸见观众啊！！”
“确实呢，是真的没脸见观众了，毕竟脸都没了。而且那一头乱糟糟的自然卷银也没了，是不是昨天喝太多把脑袋摘下来洗忘记装回去了阿鲁？”
“现在是吐槽的时候吗神乐酱！不止是银桑！我们的脸也不见了啊！再说有谁能把自己脑袋摘下来洗啊？！”
“小玉。”
“那的确，毕竟小玉是机器人嘛……不对！问题不是这个啊！我们的脸到底怎么了啊！”
“有什么好激动的，银魂本来就是一个不要脸的故事嘛。等一下，等我吃完最后一片醋昆布就来帮你们找你们丢掉的脸阿鲁。啊……啊嘞？吃不到，怎么回事？诶——！！！我的嘴！我倾国倾城、美丽动人、貌美如花、沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花、人见人爱的漂亮脸蛋不见了啊！”
“太多！形容词太多了！你是对自己的样貌多自信啊！话说你反应也太慢了吧！”
“这该怎么办啊！没有嘴巴的话我岂不是再也不能吃东西了啊！不要啊！我还没有吃遍世界上的所有美食！我才不要绝食啊！”
“你的重点居然是还能不能吃东西吗？！脸都不见了啊！”
“不不不不要慌！要冷静！这个时候就应该去找时光机！”
“银桑你才是最应该冷静的人啊！”
“怎么会这样？！银酱！新八唧！新八唧他！”
“我知道我知道，我的脸也不见了。”
“那个架子上的新八唧消失了啊！”
“你说什么消失了啊！那是眼镜不是新八啊！我就在这里啊喂！……啊嘞，等一下，消失的好像不止是我们的脸，身体也不见了……啊嘞，万事屋也不见了……啊嘞……歌舞伎町也不见了……啊嘞，地球也不见了……啊——嘞——！！所有东西都不见了！一点画面都没有了！这是怎么回事啊？！”
“不止是画面！声音也没有了！我那富有磁性的声音去哪儿了！怎么办啊！有很多观众就是想听银桑啪啦啪啦说个不停的那慵懒但又有魅力令人陶醉的声音才来的啊！他们既看不到熟悉的脸也听不见熟悉的声音了！我的未来在哪里！银魂的未来在哪里啊！”
“不是，那不是你的声音，那是杉田桑的声音。”
“白痴！他的声音就是我的声音！我就是他！他就是我！我们可是两人一体的假面骑士啊！”
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